Teaching Children Boundaries

Teaching children boundaries is an important task. How can we raise a child with healthy boundaries? What is the best way to allow our children to be autonomous while setting clear boundaries in the process?

Analyzing children’s drawings enables us to assess their personality and determine whether normative behavioral limits are clear to them: Do they understand what’s allowed and what’s not? Should the parent take a different approach in educating them and setting boundaries in particular?

Educating for Boundaries

Educating for boundaries is a parental art. On one hand, it’s important to raise your child according to societal norms. On the other hand, you should carefully attend to his inner world and needs, so that he will not be carried away after every temporary social trend or vogue and be true to his core values.

Setting boundaries represents one of the biggest tests of parenthood. Usually, drawing the line is accompanied by frustration, crying outbursts, and even temper tantrums. It is not easy to stand in front of your child and forbid him from doing something.

The child’s frustration arouses a sense of guilt in many parents. Some of them would rather flex their boundaries and bend their rules to please their child. But does he really become pleased? Do you think he will not stumble across the same boundary outside of home? He probably will. Do you think that his social environment will also tolerate his tantrums? Probably not.

How to set clear boundaries

At home, and with your help, your child can benefit from countless opportunities to restrain her anger, manage it, overcome her frustration and then come up with a solution that suits her needs, personality and social environment. Age-appropriate frustration will help your child find the right solution within her and discover the creative powers she is gifted with.

We recommend treating the child as a curious being who learns by trial and error. At the same time, it is important to lay down rules and set boundaries for behaviors that cannot be considered “trial and error”. For example, when a child is in danger – runs into the street, touches electric wires, etc. – or threatens to injure another child by picking up a rock during a fight, or when his behavior is simply unacceptable – cursing, beating, or spitting.

In all of these cases, the boundary should be set in clear and emphatic words – “You must not behave like that!” – followed by taking the child away from the scene. If necessary, you can later explain to your child, as appropriate for his age, the reason for the prohibition.

Case Study

Teaching children boundaries has to do primarily with the parent’s ability to maintain the boundary. The parents of the 6 year-old girl, who made this drawing, reported: “She beats us and kicks us whenever she hears the word ‘no’.

She allows herself speak to us offensively especially near our friends”. Although the parents report that their child “allows herself”, is this really the case, or maybe it is her parents who allow this behavior to continue?

Teaching Children Boundaries2

Diagnosing her drawings pinpointed her difficulty to set her own boundaries. Just as in real life, in the drawings she adds incomplete elements, whose relevance to the rest of the drawing is far from clear.

Her drawings are relatively immature and this is perhaps the dearest price she pays for her behavior. Regression in drawings is typical of children in distress like her, who tries to express herself and belong, but not in the right way.

Clear and sharp boundaries are essential to a child’s development. They are also critical for him to become an independent person, able to contain anger and cope with problems. Clear boundaries are also the key to good social skills and high self-esteem.

Want to know more?

Our learning center will familiarize you with important tools and topics for understanding children’s drawings.

Interested in interpreting your child’s drawings? Click here 


If you have any comments or questions about this article, contact us or leave a reply below.

26 replies
  1. chaussures de foot pas cher
    chaussures de foot pas cher says:

    Hellο! Someone in my Myspace group shared tɦis website with us so I came tо loօk it over.
    I’m definitely loving the information. I’m bookmarking and will bе tweeting thіs to my followers!
    Superb blog and brilliant deѕign and style.

  2. Agence web Skikda
    Agence web Skikda says:

    I thought it was heading to become some boring aged publish, however it really compensated for my time. I will post a hyperlink to this web page on my weblog. Im positive my guests will come across that really helpful.
    Agence web Skikda [url=http://ww88ap.com/forum/profile.php?id=212622]Agence web Skikda[/url]

  3. Tamela
    Tamela says:

    Good day! This post could not be written any better!
    Reading through this post reminds me of my old room mate!
    He always kept chatting about this. I will forward this article to
    him. Fairly certain he will have a good read. Thank you for sharing!

  4. Petra
    Petra says:

    If you are going for most excellent contents like myself, just pay a quick visit this site all the time because
    it provides quality contents, thanks

  5. Phoebe
    Phoebe says:

    Fantastic beat ! I would like to apprentice at the same time
    as you amend your web site, how could i subscribe for
    a blog website? The account aided me a applicable deal.
    I had been a little bit acquainted of this your broadcast offered vivid transparent concept

  6. Oscar
    Oscar says:

    I am genuinely delighted to glance at this
    website posts which consists of tons of helpful data, thanks for providing these information.

  7. Twila
    Twila says:

    Excellent way of telling, and pleasant post to obtain data concerning my presentation topic, which i am going to deliver in college.

  8. Charissa
    Charissa says:

    It is appropriate time to make a few plans for the future
    and it is time to be happy. I’ve read this put up and if
    I may I wish to counsel you some fascinating things or advice.
    Maybe you could write next articles referring to this article.
    I wish to learn even more issues approximately it!

  9. Carol
    Carol says:

    I’ve been surfing online more than 2 hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours.
    It is pretty worth enough for me. Personally, if all
    website owners and bloggers made good content as you
    did, the web will be a lot more useful than ever before.

  10. Norma
    Norma says:

    I think that is one of the so much important info for me.
    And i am glad studying your article. But should statement
    on few common things, The web site taste is wonderful, the articles is actually great :
    D. Excellent process, cheers

  11. Galen
    Galen says:

    I absolutely love your site.. Excellent colors & theme.
    Did you build this site yourself? Please reply back as I’m
    wanting to create my own website and would love to learn where you got this from or what the theme is named.

    Appreciate it!


Trackbacks & Pingbacks

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply to Michal Wimmer Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *